So it’s a typical day at the barbershop- Chairs are full, people are reading, men are laughing.
Me, I’m sitting against the wall using the “free time” I have while waiting to catch up on emails and redeem the time.
Engrossed in what I am doing, I am suddenly brought back to reality by a sweet 10-year old girl across the room playing with building blocks who says to her father, “Look Daddy! Look what I did. It’s the Eiffel Tower!”
The father, sitting down reading a magazine, failed to acknowledge her. So she stood taller, talked louder, rolled those shoulders back and proudly said, “Daddy, look what I did!” with a ginormous smile on her face.
Again the man didn’t reply.
Feeling disappointed, but determined to make her father proud, she then exclaims again even louder, “Look Daddy! Look what I did. It’s the Eiffel Tower!”
Finally, her father lifts his head from the magazine he is reading, glances briefly at the tower, and puts his head back in the magazine without saying a word.
At that point my heart broke. I can’t even imagine what that little girl was feeling. You think she gave up though? Not a chance.
She continued to build, and smile, and love, and encourage, and do everything her little 10-year old heart and mind could do to win the affection of her father.
What We Can All Learn From This Real-Life Illustration…
Spend time with your daughters! (and sons for that matter)
Talk with them. Listen to them. Laugh with Them. Be there for them. They need you.
Even when they say they don’t, they need you. As a loving father and guide, not just a friend.
The truth is, like in the story above, our daughters will never stop trying to win a mans love and acceptance. Problem is, they’ll just stop trying to win it from us as dads if we are not there for them- physically present, and emotionally.
Eventually, whether consciously or not, if our daughters do not connect with us on a deep level, they will try to earn the acceptance and love they are searching for elsewhere; typically in the arms of another man. And this is VERY dangerous.
You see, they may find a “good” man, or they may find a “bad” man, but one way or another they will seek out and find someone (or something) to fill this deep, universal need for love and acceptance in their life. And when they do, if you haven’t been there for them for years, you will have no control over what this looks like.
Whether it is an abusive boyfriend, a substance addiction, or pattern of self-destructive behaviors, all you will be able to do at that point is sit there and watch.
Don’t let that happen!
This does not have to happen though- There is Hope! If your daughter is still in your house, start changing the relationship you have with her today!
It may not be easy at first, but it’s worth it.
And as for how, it’s simple. Start thinking about the man you want your daughter to marry, and start being that man now!
Ask God for wisdom. Ask your daughter for forgiveness. Spend time together. And start enjoying an amazing relationship with your daughter like you have never experienced before and that she has been waiting for her entire life!
A Special Note to Daughters:
Like this little girl, many of you are desperately longing for the love and acceptance of your father.
If this is the case, know your Father loves you.
Maybe not your earthly one (though he most likely does too and just doesn’t know how to say/show it :0), but our heavenly Father- God.
And the great news is this, He loves you exactly the way you are!
You see with God, you don’t have to earn His love, work for it, or be perfect; He made you and loves you for who you are period. Just the way you are.
So if you are reading this and feel you are one of the many of us who are unfortunately in the ‘not loved’ category by our earthly parents, it’s ok. Even when we feel we are all alone, God is there for you. Simply cry out to Him and ask for help. He will always be there to listen, comfort, and look at your ‘Eiffel Tower’.
Remember, despite our parents shortcomings, choices, and relationship with us us, we are responsible for our own actions and can have peace, love, acceptance, and freedom in our lives through Christ- our true Father. He loves you, and so do we!
Here’s a great song that speaks about some of the issues and struggles you may be facing. Hope it helps encourage you!
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